back frm dbl0

Just got back frm dbL0.. Unlike my previous trip there, this time i'm perfectly SOBER! staying sober is good.. in that way, i've got control over my actions. No control over my emotions however.. Loser william's missing his ex, Loser Yang's missing his ex, big time Loser val's missing eric. damn it.. n it had to be dbL0.. the place where eric use to work, and i'd stay up, waiting for him to get back.. I'd b worried that some girl gets to know him etc etc.. No such need now.. is there??

It isnt suprising that i've got a big appetite, these days however, it isnt just big.. its HUGE!! the guys were stunned by the amount of food i eat!! FwoOaHhh!!! nevertheless, the day ended up with some really "gone" people.. hahA.. feels good knowing i'm the sober one!

William said my blog's depressing.. He said my blog's the type of blog that wld make ppl tear n depressed after reading.. HaHa... well, blogs are reflections of ppls feelings/views/thoughts.. since my life IS indeed depressing, isnt the blog just apt!?

As the days pass, i get frm bad to worst.. this cant go on! but there's nothing i can do about it.. can i? What must i do to snap out of it!?Ivan's right, i feel numb for awhile, then the BIG BLOW comes, knocking all rationality out, letting emotions reign. That's exactly how i feel.. my pathetic life.. my depressingly pathetic way of life..

My 1 year Aniversary present!!



Eric made it specially for me! too him lots of effort... I sorta guessed that it was a jig saw puzzle.. Yet i pretended that i didnt know.. well.. Why spoil the suprise rite!? hehe.. The picture has a significance... something really sweet actually. It has a lil dog n a kitten in it.. just like how the both of us always wanted a dog n a cat in future.. we'd make them grow up 2gether!.. then, there's this boy, carrying the little girl on his back.. Eric said, thats him, carrying me on his back, just like how he'd always take care of me, and carrying me on his back, never letting me fall, always caring for me.

aint that sweet of him?? Where are u now darling.. Where are u... when i'm feeling so low. are u still there? If im feeling this way.. u muz b feeling much worst. shallnt fret! he want me 2 live a good life, Thats what his msgs always say...askin me to a good life.. even without him, thats what he meant. How to... How can he? How can i? BUT, for him, i'd try. I know He said that, because it was for my own good. How about himself?? unlike him, i dont wish that he live a good life!! i dont want him to.. call me selfish.. I want him to lead a life with me.. not just a good life but a good life with me. Even if it isnt realli a good one, at least it's WITH me.. Because with him, even if life's at is lowest... i'd have him by my side. we have each other to hold on to. We'd never be alone.

Now. i feel so freggin alone.. Do u feel the same!? any lonely ppl out there!?!?!?