Monday, September 26, 2005

Reaching out..

Its true how people around me feel my depression, and my sadness. The aura of sadness is felt through my blog, my conversations, even my facial expressions when i aint putting on a front. I thought i wont cry tonight. Im wrong. Still wrong. Thought i'd be kept busy with the ppt, thought there was no need for tears this time round since we're in contact already.


WRONG val.. so wrong.

Last night, i relived some happy memories. Chattering away in bed with someone i hold so close to my heart. Thats how things were before. We talked of nonsensical nothings, never getting bored of each other's antics. For a tiny moment, i felt as tho nothing changed. It felt like when we were together, those nights where i simply had to spent some time talking to u before we head to bed. I came crashing down, only when we were about to hang up. It usually ended with a good night kiss. No goodnight kiss this time for sure.. It was then, that i realize, things still arent the same as before. *duh. How can it be!?

Now everyone's telling me it's a good step, and that at least we're friends, still have chance blah blah blah.. I dont think so. He's changed. I dont wana be the one trying so hard to get him back, and being the one suffering in the relationship.

Truth hurts val. Eric doesnt want u no more...
You're still freggin alone.
Go ahead, cry your hearts out,
cuz there's no one to hear your cries in the middle of the nite,
there's no one there to hug you as u wallow away in self pity,
Other's have moved on, getting attached, having new perspectives in life,
having other guys to keep them company.
What have you got.
Nothing.
Tears and yourself.
TEARS and ONLY yourself.
And yet you cry the tears away.
Go to bed, u bloody loser.
Shoot yourself if u must, no one gives a damn.

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" a snapshot from my heart.."

I'm reaching... and reaching... sorry, somethings are just beyond reach.
Leave it to fate you say!? Sure thing..
Or do u mean "Give up! It's OVER. u GEDDIT!? "
bahh.. i'm a nutcase.

damn it. argh fug. it's time for bed.

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