One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for a while and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both knowIt's better if we just let it go
-- One Last (taufik Batisah)
Not as if i'm a great fan of his, but this song's apt. It's been playing in my head for the longest of time. So if anyone has the mp3, please sent it 2 me.
I'm back frm Bangkok, and by now, it's quite evident that i aint in the best of moods. To cut things short, Eric's my ex-boyfriend. Breaking up's never easy. It wasnt last time, neither is it now. No doubt he brought it up, i was the cause of it. If i'm hurting, it hurts him much worst. I asked if we might be together in future, he answered "the future's dark, thats why we've gotta find out.." Knowing US however, i doubt we'd get back together.
There's this pain in knowing that someone who's been there for you is gone. Its an undescribable feeling of anguish, where life seems bleak, and everything else reminds me of him. no, Us. The tiniest of things.. everyday life. When he was around, i failed to cherish him. Now that he's gone, i'd always miss him. "Love Conqures all". Some believe in that... I'm a living evidence, showing that two party may love each other, and yet not stay together.
I asked for one last hug, as an ex girlfriend. At that moment. I knew it truly is over.
When we touched down in the evening, Eric switched on his hp, and found out his dad passed away in the afternoon. He was devastated. =period=. i need not mention more. i wish i could be by his side. Guess its better that i do not. i want to.. But he doesnt want me to. For now, he'd be in the hands of some other friend. I'd just sit here, wishing for the best, worrying about everything. I've always thought that when u're down, you'd want the person closest to your heart to be with you. I've forgotten the fact that i'm now the ex-girlfriend. Rather than create more worries, it's wiser that i step aside. To the sidewalk, where every other normal friend would stand. Hope he doesnt read my blog for the time being. It'll only give him more stress and pressure. Should i even go to the wake? It'll be painful if he sees me... what should i do?
Life goes on, School + Work. However, i've got no mood for either. Just going about doing things i ought to be doing, with memories flashing by, tears ocassionally seeping down my cheeks. Someone said to cry a little for myself, a little for eric's dad, and laugh a little too, cuz there are people who care. Indeed there are. For that i'm thankful.
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