Monday, June 20, 2005

My Doggie ruskie

Just brought in the clothes. its raining heavily now.. I love the rain. Did i ever mention that? know it stinks when we're all dressed up and YET caught in the rain.

I remember those times when i was clad in my pink raincoat, and my maid brought my brother and i to the playground because we insisted on going down despite the drizzle. it feels simply wonderful to hear the "pitter patter" on your skin.. your face.. your body.. Thunderstorms are one of those times where i stand in awe.. at the wonderous powers of the creator of this earth. None will ever surpass this enourmous power.. ever.

However.. whenever the thunderstorm strikes, i feel a sense of guilt.. i feel indebted. because Somewhere out there, he just might be walking around, all alone. Somewhere out there, they might not be treating him right. or is he already dead? He'd b 8 this year. My intellegent little pup who's memory i hold so dear..

For as long as i live, Whenever it rains, i'd feel a heart wrenching sense of lost. It was my fault that he got lost. it was my fault that i chose to study for my chinese o lev instead of searching frantically for him.

He would howl and bark to get attention of my mum whenever it rained. So that she'd bring the clothes in. (and bring him in as well).. For that reason, whenever i hear the sound of thunder, and stand at my balcony feeling the little drizzle that breezes pass me, i'd think about him. I do not deny that it does make me a little teary at times esp times as such where the memories of him just comes flooding back. Any pet owner would understand how much his or her pet mean to her. Esp when the pet provided a constant listening ear and a source of happiness in your growing up years... esp when the pet's gone..

I thought he'd come back on his own like he usually does. But i thought wrong. I'm so sorry Ruskie i know i should have, but i didnt. If i knew you would leave me that soon, i'd have let u pee-d every where without spanking you with the newspaper. I'd have let u into my air con room, I'd have shared my chicken with you so you wont whine and sulk.. i'd even buy you your favourite rainbow ice cream more often.. Most importantly.. i'd have treated you like you were so very precious... i should never have taken you forgranted.

I'm sorry.. You'd forever be the little puppy i raised..
(gosh.. what a sad entry.. and what's with my tearing.. )

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