Unhappy val

val's unhappy.

She's unhappily unhappy, cuz she was unhappy with sumone, and said unhappy remarks, and someone else became unappy. therefore she is now unhappy that the person who initially made her unhappy is now unhappy.

Geddit? No? nevermind. Just read the words in italics or BOLD.

Feel lousy now. Not only did i not manage to take leave for my bro's bday, i didnt even get to wish him Happy birthday face to face. I wanted to get him a present, but realize that i'm too broke to do so. Guess i'd just have to wait till nxt mth. Felt so upset when i saw that the cake was still in the fridge. No one cut it yet. :( a heart wrenching kind of unhappiness.. Its the "xin Suan" kind of feeling..

"Sorry Des. Happy Birthday. Jie Jie Loves u.. and she just wants u to know how proud of u she is..... Proud that u're becoming the guy u are, clever, fun loving, fit, smart, handsome, cute, righteous, walking in the light of god, and being just the guy u are. U may never read this, but.. i'd be by ur side no matter what, cuz u're the only bro i've got"

today, it felt that my heart STILL could ache. Well, not a terrible pain, but a pang of anxiety..
my heart's kinda immuned to the pain that can be inflicted. When i begged eric to stay, to come back. That was heart wrenching. Never wld it happen again. I thought i wont feel a thing any more. So its true that he's gone, and i'd never be able to have similar happiness and sensations etc.. But val's moved on. She's got someone else. There wont be another person who doesnt think im fat and allows me to eat ALL I WANT. there wont be another person who's like eric. But u know what? no 2 person's exactly the same. the truth is...... Val has a pride too. Pride is Your downfall eric, its YOU shoving me aside, and not taking me back. My downfall on the other hand, wld be to believe you'd even come back. I know i've got someone else, someone whom i'm willing to work hard with... work towards a future which i thought was impossible. So hold my hands J, and lets walk. Walk walk walk, and walk. away from the past. No doubt its bitter, But trust me, if it was placed infront of me again, i'd stilll hold on to ur hands, and i'd not even flinch.

When i felt that anxiety for Mr. J. I knew things were gona b different frm now on. and Damn it. J keeps askin me 2 go back to eric if i think he's the right personfor me. Hell no. I pay for my mistake and eric pays for his! Since eric decided to move on before me, its only right that i move on as well. why stay in the same spot.. I'm happy with J that's final. I'm happy that he's happy, and i know feelings for him wld definately grow.

For one, he has got traits which i really admire. I may not feel totally at ease when i'm with him now, and i may even feel conscious, paranoid, insercure and god knows what, but, Hey! there's no bench mark for comparison.. Hell, we're only together for a short period of time. Its 2 entirly different relationships. He may not know how to express himself well, and his words sting a lil at times, but i guess.... i've been too sensitive, and even subconsciously comparing the 2 guys. Im sorry i did. Well, the fact is... I'm lookin 4ward. toward s the future. Aint gona get hung up on the past.

Mr. J, Thank You for saying sorry, giving in. being afraid that i'm angry etc... These are things that really touch my heart. These are things, which others may not have done... "a plant needs air water fertilizers and god knows what to grow..." "a relationship needs time, effort, concern, understanding, love, love, love, love, and lots of love." I'm sorry i upset u J. Just FYI, val's anxious about hw u're feeling. She cant help feeling anxious.... and she cant slp!!!! i think i reali was alil harsh... SORRY!!!!! *pulls ears*


Badminton day tmr!!! with prisc. val's gona make sure she perspires....


Key: thanks for hearing val out... hush hush.. i know my secrets r safe with u girls.. **huGgzz** love y'all!!! n thanks 4 ur advise "when u just get together, u just want ur partner to see the best of u"... Guess that was why i was upset with J, and J got upset.. If only J sees this.... He use to read my blog... not animore i guess.. Then again. he's bz wat!!! hmph! :)